Baron Baron of Baronia
HD 2+2 - arrogantly low
AC 13 - quite unnecessary
Atk 1d6 - sharp and to the point
Hat trick wizard and summoner of rabbits of Arrgh, tips the Hat of Conjuration to you. With the Cape of Night and the Black Pince-Nez of Rainbows, how can you stand against his magnificent thinness?
- Pince-Nez of Rainbows - summons rainbows and holy divers. May avert evil eye (4 in 6).
- Cape of Night - Night is still looking for it. Inverts circadian rhythms. Causes insomnia. Is a very dark white. Protects against sun burn.
- Hat of Arrgh - summons Beast of Arrgh. Does not come with instructions. HD 1+1, AC 20, Atk 2d6 vorpal.
- Barron’s Ballistic Bunny - rodents fear a spell that accelerates them in ballistic trajectories.
- Get Real Thin - reduces body volume while maintaining mass by a factor of up to π.
Complaints in the Court of Confusions
- My neck fell off.
- It’s right there, sir. Are you mad?
- It must have been the purple lotus!
- There are myrmidonoborgs in the Iron Machine of Mulachi that make new ones!
- Why do you want mine? It’s still attached!
- The new caryatid cravats will be the rage of the season, just ask Lady Flightshade.
- And inside was this pearl choker. Perhaps it will convince the Silver Priestess to go to the Feast of Fools with me?
- My dumnorian iron dwarf servant is Rusty. It’s just a bad joke. The red-haired dwarf still has no soul. Does it eat children?