2016/10/08

30wizards - Baron Baron

Baron Baron of Baronia


HD 2+2 - arrogantly low
AC 13 - quite unnecessary
Atk 1d6 - sharp and to the point

Hat trick wizard and summoner of rabbits of Arrgh, tips the Hat of Conjuration to you. With the Cape of Night and the Black Pince-Nez of Rainbows, how can you stand against his magnificent thinness?
  • Pince-Nez of Rainbows - summons rainbows and holy divers. May avert evil eye (4 in 6).
  • Cape of Night - Night is still looking for it. Inverts circadian rhythms. Causes insomnia. Is a very dark white. Protects against sun burn.
  • Hat of Arrgh - summons Beast of Arrgh. Does not come with instructions. HD 1+1, AC 20, Atk 2d6 vorpal.
  • Barron’s Ballistic Bunny - rodents fear a spell that accelerates them in ballistic trajectories. 
  • Get Real Thin - reduces body volume while maintaining mass by a factor of up to π.

Complaints in the Court of Confusions

  1. My neck fell off.
  2. It’s right there, sir. Are you mad?
  3. It must have been the purple lotus!
  4. There are myrmidonoborgs in the Iron Machine of Mulachi that make new ones!
  5. Why do you want mine? It’s still attached!
  6. The new caryatid cravats will be the rage of the season, just ask Lady Flightshade.
  7. And inside was this pearl choker. Perhaps it will convince the Silver Priestess to go to the Feast of Fools with me?
  8. My dumnorian iron dwarf servant is Rusty. It’s just a bad joke. The red-haired dwarf still has no soul. Does it eat children?

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