30wizards - First Wizard

First Wizard Tentaclebeard

HD 7 - elegant
AC 7* - untouchable
Atk 2d7 - sparkly

Slayer of the Scumbag Sorcerer, Defeater of the Douche Demonist, the Evil Elementalist and the Wanker Wizard.
  • Scarf of the Tentabeard - stops hearts with its touch and charms cephalopods.
  • Eary Robe-hat of Sparkles - imbued with magic by the Mad Arch-Imp ‘Cat’ Cheerdrums.
  • First Wizard’s Misrule - a cursory spell that inspires drunkenness and wild partying.
  • Orb of Rubber - bounces and brings the bouncy back
  • My other house is a cake-shaped crypt.

Who Will Rid Me of this Self-Absorbed Fairy Princess?
  1. She ate all my cross-pies!
  2. Those were priceless experiments, not imp-cakes!
  3. I will not be humiliated and sparkle in daylight again!
  4. He said he was a princess!
  5. There is now a temporal vortex in my lavatory. Ah.
  6. How dare she turn my snakes into socks?!

There is a filthy goblin in the basement playing checkers with a ghost in her head.

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