30wizards - First Wizard

First Wizard Tentaclebeard

HD 7 - elegant

AC 7* - untouchable

Atk 2d7 - sparkly

Slayer of the Scumbag Sorcerer, Defeater of the Douche Demonist, the Evil Elementalist and the Wanker Wizard.

• Scarf of the Tentabeard - stops hearts with its touch and charms cephalopods.
• Eary Robe-hat of Sparkles - imbued with magic by the Mad Arch-Imp ‘Cat’ Cheerdrums.
• First Wizard’s Misrule - a cursory spell that inspires drunkenness and wild partying.
• Orb of Rubber - bounces and brings the bouncy back
• My other house is a cake-shaped crypt.

Who Will Rid Me of this Self-Absorbed Fairy Princess?

1. She ate all my cross-pies!
2. Those were priceless experiments, not imp-cakes!
3. I will not be humiliated and sparkle in daylight again!
4. He said he was a princess!
5. There is now a temporal vortex in my lavatory. Ah.
6. How dare she turn my snakes into socks?!

There is a filthy goblin in the basement playing checkers with a ghost in her head.