First Wizard Tentaclebeard
HD 7 - elegant
AC 7* - untouchable
Atk 2d7 - sparkly
Slayer of the Scumbag Sorcerer, Defeater of the Douche Demonist, the Evil Elementalist and the Wanker Wizard.
- Scarf of the Tentabeard - stops hearts with its touch and charms cephalopods.
- Eary Robe-hat of Sparkles - imbued with magic by the Mad Arch-Imp ‘Cat’ Cheerdrums.
- First Wizard’s Misrule - a cursory spell that inspires drunkenness and wild partying.
- Orb of Rubber - bounces and brings the bouncy back
- My other house is a cake-shaped crypt.
Who Will Rid Me of this Self-Absorbed Fairy Princess?
- She ate all my cross-pies!
- Those were priceless experiments, not imp-cakes!
- I will not be humiliated and sparkle in daylight again!
- He said he was a princess!
- There is now a temporal vortex in my lavatory. Ah.
- How dare she turn my snakes into socks?!
There is a filthy goblin in the basement playing checkers with a ghost in her head.