30wizards - The Soft Cloud

The Soft Cloud

HD 5-5 - massive but soft
AC 8 - pillowy
Atk 1d4-1 - intoxicating, gentle and filling

Glorious ruler gently rests, smoking the Pipe of Djinn on the Throne of Little Three-Eyed Thralls while contemplating the world through the colour haze of trans-plutonian existence.


  • Little Three-Eyed Thralls - numerous, cute, lasagna-eating menaces. A vigorous shakeup of their hierarchy is a common spectator sport. HD 1-1, AC 13, Atk 1d4 poisoned lasagna, see your embarrassing secret.
  • Chair Golem - immobile but unforgetting, golem immunities from below and behind. HD 2, AC 18.


  • Pipe of Djinn - summons gin vapors and communicates with a Djinn named Eugene. Intoxicating
  • Colour Haze of Trans-Plutonian Existence - a void-traversing communication-enabling spell. Enlightenment brings confusion. Confusion brings release. Answers are questions wreathed in purple.

Someone has stolen my Throne and now the Thralls won’t carry me!

  1. It was Pneumato, the Gas Wizard!
  2. Perhaps it was just misplaced in Trans-Plutonia?
  3. It’s a Thrall Revolution! Lasagna for the masses!
  4. There is no throne. The pipe is corrupted.

Eugene the Djinn has a well-laid business proposition for a gin franchise. It will be a success.

  1. I will never let him go! He’s my only friend!
  2. Gin?! Who would ever drink that! Folly!
  3. The Polly Pogue Gang won’t stand for that. It has a nice Cracker Jack racket going.
  4. But to release him, some gentle virgin must drink the Aetherial Gin Prison! It turns mortals into (1) rainbows, (2) potatoes, (3) water nymphs, (4) cheese, (5) iron golems and (6) a shrubbery.

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